A Forever Family - Biblical Definition Of Marriage

"Marriage As The Foundation Of A Forever Family"
5.17.15


In the 1986 movie "Back To School", Rodney Dangerfield's character has returned to college with his son to help his son graduate. Along the way he falls in love with one of the professors and spends too much time partying and not studying. At one point in the movie he is challenged to write a book report on the works of Kurt Vonnegut. Rodney's character, not wanting to read and being filthy rich, does the only logical thing: he pays Kurt Vonnegut to write the report. When the report is reviewed by the professor, she comments that the paper was clearly written by someone else and that someone does not know anything about Vonnegut's writing! Insert laugh, and we all see the absurdity in the statement that Kurt Vonnegut, the original author, does not know his own workmanship.

This same kind of absurd situation is being acted out today in the political and social arena of the U.S. legislative and judicial systems across America. We have an author, God, who has demonstrated what marriage is all about; and we have the social academics of the world who are here to proclaim that the Christian biblical worldview of marriage is too narrow and not really reflective of its creator.

As a pastor, I am often asked where we can find a verse that tells us what marriage truly is. There is no one verse that gives a summary definition. It does however give practical example of God's intention for marriage by giving us the story of Adam and Eve. In their story we can see four purposes for marriage which give us a framework on which we can flesh out a biblical definition for marriage.

The four purposes of marriage:

1. Emotional /Psychological need fulfillment.
2. Physical / Biological need fulfillment.
3. Provisional/ Sociological fulfillment.
4. Supernatural / Spiritual fulfillment.

One, the emotional needs of mankind are met in great part by the interaction and union of men and women. In Genesis 2:18, God says "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper for him." God was not alone He is in a triune existence of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. When he made man, he did so in his image, and thus created within each part of mankind (male and female) a kindred longing to be reunited for the sake of completeness. The movie Jerry McGuire gave today's culture the catchphrase "you complete me". In that simple statement between husband and wife, we hear truth ring through the ages that men and women are designed to complement and complete each other. It is not good for man (male or female) to be alone.

Two, there are physical and biological needs which are met especially well when men and women are united in marriage. God gives his first commandment to this newborn couple and tells them to "be fruitful and multiply." Later we read that it is because Eve is part of the flesh and bone of Adam, meaning they are compatible physically, that a "man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the they will become one flesh." (Genesis 1:28 & 2:24) God created perfection when he created men and women to be joined physically. Cultures throughout time, including our own, have perverted this natural perfection. Employing ways for self gratification or mutual same sex gratification, but never to the zenith of intimacy and perfection that the creator God intends it to be.

Even the most hardened evolutionist must agree that it is the "natural order" of things to reproduce. When we consider nature there is a symmetry of opposites uniting for the purpose of reproducing or continuing the species. Cole Porter's 1928 song, "Let's Do It" is filled with examples of how any animal or person can "do it". While the full title refers to falling in love, it is commonly known that Porter was creating a pop song promoting the free expression of sexuality. His own life reflected this belief, and despite being married, lived an openly homosexual lifestyle. Regardless of who can "do it", the full purpose of marriage was more than just the sexual fulfillment of the two partners, it was the fulfillment of God's command to "be fruitful and multiply".

Three, God built into the family unit a provisional and sociological component which are outlined by the example in Genesis 2 where God made mankind to care for the Garden (world) and use what is found there to provide for one another. The family works to provide for one another. God chose the family unit to be the nucleus on which to build a world. Whether the simplest life form or the whole of the universe, it is all comprised of foundational  building blocks. Society is designed the same way, with the core family serving as the nucleus.

The family provides protection and provision. From Adam and Eve through today, the family is the place where love, encouragement, sustenance, and shelter should be found.  Not all families reflect this picture, but it is the intent of God that they should. It is through the formation of the family that God provides the world with salvation. First, with Adam and Eve and the promise of a seed to be an advocate for them. Later, the promise of blessing for the whole world through Abraham and his family. God used Noah and his family to build the ark and save mankind. When Jesus entered the world, he became a child and was made part of a family. God is consistent from beginning to end that family will usher in the ultimate provision and protection.

Four, "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27) God existed in the form of a tirune godhead with separate unique parts. When he set to make mankind, it would reason that he make man in his image, including the separate but necessary parts of himself. No one sex or person could contain all of God's characteristics (except Jesus). God gave men and women a mix of individual elements of his person so that when the two sexes joined together in marriage, they could form a picture of the beauty and mystery of God.

In Ephesians chapter 5, Paul writes about the roles of husband and wife and in verse 32 declares that this mystery of two becoming one is not just a mystery of man and woman becoming united, but it serves as a typology for the union of Christ with the church. The fourth principle of marriage is a spiritual and supernatural one which demonstrates God's glory and majesty.

With these four purposes of marriage in mind, I offer this biblical definition of marriage:

"It is the state of being united with a person of natural opposite sex who enters into a cooperative covenant for the purpose of fulfilling emotional closeness, meeting provisional necessities, and allowing for the potential fulfillment of God's directive for reproduction; so that the mystery and majesty of the glory of God can be revealed through the union of the two becoming one."