A Forever Family - Partners In Faith

5.24.15
"Partners In Faith: The Family and Church"

What is the purpose of the family biblically? How does this purpose intersect with the purpose of the church? I believe that above all else, the purpose that God had originally intended for the family and for the church is one and the same: to raise up individuals as future saints. Paul references believers as saints throughout his writings. It is a descriptive name given to those who were once enemies of God (sinners) who now stand redeemed and righteous (saints). Throughout the Old Testament God directs individuals and finally nations to instruct others about Him and His ways. In the New Testament we read that God sent his son Jesus to be the living example of what He pictures as fulfilling that instruction. We are commended to imitate Jesus and be like him. In essence, to be saints. I present three questions to explore the partnership between Family and Church.

Before we explore those questions, let me preface the discussion with an understanding from Ephesians 4:11-12. In these verses, Paul writes that Christ gave different gifts and abilities to different individuals. No one person or group has them all. And Christ did this for the purpose of equipping his people (the saints) so that the body of Christ (the church) may be built up. If this is true, then the church and the family both have parts to play in development of future saints.

Question #1

How should the family and the church equip these future saints?

Answer: Through the revelation and application of God's instructions.

Two ways we can do this. First, through instruction from God's Word. In 2 Timothy 3:16 we read that "all scripture is God breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness." Ah, study the Bible. Teach the Bible. Be the Bible. I feel a Mr. Miyagi montage approaching. This seemingly simple directive is actually difficult to complete. Who among us feels intimidated by scripture? Who has not feared the raising of a hand with a question about some obscure or even well known bible passage?  Over the years I have learned to face that question with the secure knowledge that I do not know everything. And if the person who is asking does not know, then we are on equal ground. But, and this is a huge change in my thinking, if we both recognize that we do not know, then we can begin together to seek out the answer! And if that person and myself are both Christians, filled with the Holy Spirit, then we have the clear advantage of knowing the author of the scripture and can seek him out for explanation.

Besides an issue of feeling inadequate to teach scripture, I believe that we approach the Bible like we do a math book. It is hard to understand, filled with truth, and seems to have little application in our daily lives. I have an eighth grade daughter and together we suffered through Pre-Algebra 1 and 2 this past year. Calculating angles and unknown variants seems at times pointless, frustrating, but in the end truthful. I was asked on more than one occasion from my daughter why she had to learn this, since obviously we do not use it in our daily lives. And I would agree, except the other day I was trying to figure out how much rock to buy to fill my landscaping. I had the measurements of the area, which inconveniently did not fit the traditional square, circle, triangle shapes that are easier to calculate. Instead, I stood at the home improvement store with my smart phone searching math web sites on how to calculate the area of odd shaped landscaping. My daughter was not with me, but I wish she would have been. It is an example of the second way in which we can share the revelation of God's instruction: demonstrate it.

In 1 Corinthians 4:6 and in 11:1, Paul tells the believers in Corinth to do what he did. He is telling them, "Hey, you wanna be like Christ? You wanna know how to act and think and love? Then act and behave like me. You saw me and how I did it, now you do it."  How should the parents and leaders of the family and church teach the Words of God? We should live it out in our daily lives. Do we know about God's grace, or do we act on it? Did we read about forgiveness, of do we actually forgive? Do we sing about God's peace, or are we at peace when the storms of life hit us? Our future saints are watching and learning. Would you want your children acting and thinking like you in the future? Are we behaving in such a way that like Paul we could instruct our saints in training to "be like us"?

Question # 2

Why should the family and church equip these future saints?

Answer: To promote unity and maturity.

In verse 12 of Ephesians 4, Paul writes that the body of Christ should be built up. He tells us why in verse 13: "until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ." Unity and maturity, no commonly seen in our families today. Flip a coin, take your wedding vows, either way you have a 50% chance of guessing correctly how it will turn out. Sadly, the statistics do not tell us all of the hurt and future ramifications the split in a family can cause. But if we are about the business of preparing future saints, then we must learn to be united. Paul's comparison of the human body to the body of Christ in 1 Corinthians 12 is spot on. The foot needs the hand, and the ear needs the eye, and the whole body needs the head. It is true of the body of Christ. We need to stop idolizing "prominent" members of the body (think celebrity pastors and authors) and realize that the true body of Christ are those who sit in the pews and chairs of sanctuaries around the world every Sunday. We must not see the "professional minister" as the one who is out there doing God's work. We are all growing to fullness of Christ. Long before I became a vocational minister, I was ministering. My vocation changed, not my purpose.

Having future saints united is well and good, but God desires for them to be mature as well. I recall on numerous occasions as a child conspiring together with my brother and sister to be united in aggravating my parents. When we would be misbehaving in the car and my mother would tell us to "act right". We three kids would break out into a song and dance routine we had developed for just the moment: We would begin by wiggling in our sits as though we were dancing and point our thumbs to the right. Along with our choreography we would chant the line "Act to the right. Act to the right." We would then proceed to mimic the same motions but to our left followed with the chant "Act to the left." We found this very humorous. My mother did not. In this example, we were united. But we lacked maturity. As a parent now myself, I see why my parents were trying to instruct us in proper behavior in various situations. Over the years I have encountered new and sometimes awkward settings that I was able to navigate because of the maturity my parents poured into us. We as the family of God owe it to the future saints to prepare them for being mature in Christ.

Question #3

How can we measure our effectiveness?

Answer: We grow and do our part! 

Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:16 that if we all do our part to equip the saints, in order to promote unity and create maturity, then we can be joined with Christ while the body "grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." My son is taller now at age 9 than he was at age 7. I know this because I can see it, and because we began marking the kitchen door frame with dates and lines indicating his height at various stages in his life. This does not work for grown ups. My line does not change, except to eventually shrink a little as I get older. So how can we as "grown up Christians" measure our effectiveness?

a.) Model works of ministry at home and in the community. Do we just "do church" inside the building on Sunday morning or are we "being the church" in our daily lives?
b.) Model biblical fidelity in family roles. Men should be husbands. Leading. Loving. Protecting. Praying. With this role comes great responsibility. Women should respect her husband and follow him as he follows Christ. This is not a position of submission to the point of objectifying the wife. It is a position of partnership where both parents lead, but one must set the course. As a woman is loved and protected by her husband, she is more likely to follow and trust in his leadership. And finally, and this is a big one: children do not run the house! Parents must be parents. They are the ones leading and instructing and doing so for the purpose of developing future saints. If we let the kids lead, we will all be singing and dancing along to "Act to the right, act to the right."
c.) Model a biblically defined marriage. We must strive to model for our future saints how a biblically based marriage is the healthiest, most loving, and safest place to be in the world. If we are meeting each others needs as we can and seeking to serve God the best that we can, then we will be modeling a better tomorrow.

It is my prayer that this week you will seek someone to share this with. We must act now to turn the tide of broken families, fractured youth, and a dismal future. We seek to have forever families that will promote the Christ-centered lifestyle for the world to see. We seek to develop future saints.

A Forever Family - Biblical Definition Of Marriage

"Marriage As The Foundation Of A Forever Family"
5.17.15


In the 1986 movie "Back To School", Rodney Dangerfield's character has returned to college with his son to help his son graduate. Along the way he falls in love with one of the professors and spends too much time partying and not studying. At one point in the movie he is challenged to write a book report on the works of Kurt Vonnegut. Rodney's character, not wanting to read and being filthy rich, does the only logical thing: he pays Kurt Vonnegut to write the report. When the report is reviewed by the professor, she comments that the paper was clearly written by someone else and that someone does not know anything about Vonnegut's writing! Insert laugh, and we all see the absurdity in the statement that Kurt Vonnegut, the original author, does not know his own workmanship.

This same kind of absurd situation is being acted out today in the political and social arena of the U.S. legislative and judicial systems across America. We have an author, God, who has demonstrated what marriage is all about; and we have the social academics of the world who are here to proclaim that the Christian biblical worldview of marriage is too narrow and not really reflective of its creator.

As a pastor, I am often asked where we can find a verse that tells us what marriage truly is. There is no one verse that gives a summary definition. It does however give practical example of God's intention for marriage by giving us the story of Adam and Eve. In their story we can see four purposes for marriage which give us a framework on which we can flesh out a biblical definition for marriage.

The four purposes of marriage:

1. Emotional /Psychological need fulfillment.
2. Physical / Biological need fulfillment.
3. Provisional/ Sociological fulfillment.
4. Supernatural / Spiritual fulfillment.

One, the emotional needs of mankind are met in great part by the interaction and union of men and women. In Genesis 2:18, God says "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper for him." God was not alone He is in a triune existence of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. When he made man, he did so in his image, and thus created within each part of mankind (male and female) a kindred longing to be reunited for the sake of completeness. The movie Jerry McGuire gave today's culture the catchphrase "you complete me". In that simple statement between husband and wife, we hear truth ring through the ages that men and women are designed to complement and complete each other. It is not good for man (male or female) to be alone.

Two, there are physical and biological needs which are met especially well when men and women are united in marriage. God gives his first commandment to this newborn couple and tells them to "be fruitful and multiply." Later we read that it is because Eve is part of the flesh and bone of Adam, meaning they are compatible physically, that a "man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the they will become one flesh." (Genesis 1:28 & 2:24) God created perfection when he created men and women to be joined physically. Cultures throughout time, including our own, have perverted this natural perfection. Employing ways for self gratification or mutual same sex gratification, but never to the zenith of intimacy and perfection that the creator God intends it to be.

Even the most hardened evolutionist must agree that it is the "natural order" of things to reproduce. When we consider nature there is a symmetry of opposites uniting for the purpose of reproducing or continuing the species. Cole Porter's 1928 song, "Let's Do It" is filled with examples of how any animal or person can "do it". While the full title refers to falling in love, it is commonly known that Porter was creating a pop song promoting the free expression of sexuality. His own life reflected this belief, and despite being married, lived an openly homosexual lifestyle. Regardless of who can "do it", the full purpose of marriage was more than just the sexual fulfillment of the two partners, it was the fulfillment of God's command to "be fruitful and multiply".

Three, God built into the family unit a provisional and sociological component which are outlined by the example in Genesis 2 where God made mankind to care for the Garden (world) and use what is found there to provide for one another. The family works to provide for one another. God chose the family unit to be the nucleus on which to build a world. Whether the simplest life form or the whole of the universe, it is all comprised of foundational  building blocks. Society is designed the same way, with the core family serving as the nucleus.

The family provides protection and provision. From Adam and Eve through today, the family is the place where love, encouragement, sustenance, and shelter should be found.  Not all families reflect this picture, but it is the intent of God that they should. It is through the formation of the family that God provides the world with salvation. First, with Adam and Eve and the promise of a seed to be an advocate for them. Later, the promise of blessing for the whole world through Abraham and his family. God used Noah and his family to build the ark and save mankind. When Jesus entered the world, he became a child and was made part of a family. God is consistent from beginning to end that family will usher in the ultimate provision and protection.

Four, "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27) God existed in the form of a tirune godhead with separate unique parts. When he set to make mankind, it would reason that he make man in his image, including the separate but necessary parts of himself. No one sex or person could contain all of God's characteristics (except Jesus). God gave men and women a mix of individual elements of his person so that when the two sexes joined together in marriage, they could form a picture of the beauty and mystery of God.

In Ephesians chapter 5, Paul writes about the roles of husband and wife and in verse 32 declares that this mystery of two becoming one is not just a mystery of man and woman becoming united, but it serves as a typology for the union of Christ with the church. The fourth principle of marriage is a spiritual and supernatural one which demonstrates God's glory and majesty.

With these four purposes of marriage in mind, I offer this biblical definition of marriage:

"It is the state of being united with a person of natural opposite sex who enters into a cooperative covenant for the purpose of fulfilling emotional closeness, meeting provisional necessities, and allowing for the potential fulfillment of God's directive for reproduction; so that the mystery and majesty of the glory of God can be revealed through the union of the two becoming one." 

A Forever Family - Mother's Day

"Motherhood: Cornerstone of a Forever Family"
5.10.15

There is an old saying that you can spell love as M-O-T-H-E-R. That is or has been the reality for many. Not all mothers are loving, kind, thoughtful, and nurturing. As we consider the foundations for a family that can last forever, I believe we can begin with mom. Dads are equally important, and we will explore their role on Father's Day, but motherhood begins first so we will begin there. From the first moment of conception, the mother's body begins the role of care taker, provider, protector, and life support. Before she even knows she is pregnant, the mother is already caring for her child.

The bible has many stories about mothers. There is Eve, mother to the human race. There is Noah's daughter-in-laws, mothers to a new start for sinful man. Moses' mother who protected him from death. Issac's mom who laughed when she heard she would become pregnant. The list goes on. There is one mother who is seen as someone special in the motherhood category. She was nothing special or unique herself, but she gave birth to the most unique and special child that ever lived. I speak of course of Mary, the earthly mother of Jesus.

One of the wonderful things I love about the bible is the details of intimate moments in the life of Jesus on earth. His interaction with his family, friends, foes, etc. are revealing in the nature of his humanity as well as his divinity. Perhaps this is most clear in the stories of him and his mother. I wish to explore three stories that reveal three truths about a godly loving mother.

First, Mary shows concern for Jesus which in turn tells us that mothers are to be concerned for their children. In Luke chapter 2, verses 41-52, we read a story of Jesus visiting Jerusalem for the Feast of Passover. After the celebration, the family leaves the capitol city to return to their hometown. Once on the road, Mary and Joseph realize that Jesus did not make the return trip with them. They frantically hurry back to Jerusalem and search for him. They find him the next day in the temple listening and teaching with the religious teachers. In verse 48 we see the heart of Mary revealed when she tells her son "Your farther and I have been anxiously searching for you." We can read into this statement all the care and concern she has for her son. This reveals the first attribute of motherhood: concern.

Second, We read about Jesus as a grown man visiting a wedding with his mother and the disciples. The wedding feast is lasting long into the night and the host has ran out of wine. Embarrassing. Mary acts on the second attribute of motherhood: encouragement. She asks Jesus to do something, and he complains a bit that it is not his time yet. He means of course that it is not his time to reveal his divine nature by the performance of special miracles. I love this scene - Mary knows what Jesus is capable of, Jesus knows it too, but Jesus is not wanting to display his powers at that time. It is not recorded, but having a mom of my own, having a wife who is a mother, and being around mothers all my life, I am sure that after the retort from Jesus, "Woman, why to you involve me?" there was a look. All mom's have it. There is a look that they give us when they are disappointed, or giving silent instruction, or in this case, encouragement to Jesus to be who he is: a miracle worker. Jesus tells her that his time has not come and there is a pause. Then the look. Then Mary turns to the servants and tells them to do whatever Jesus tells them to do.

He performs a miracle that involves baptismal jars filled with water that become wine. Wine that is the best they had ever had. In this moment Jesus foreshadows the day when there will be a baptism in blood for the forgiveness of sin: his blood - shed for all mankind. It is just like a mom to encourage a child to do and or be who they are made to be, even when that child does not want to be it just yet. Moms need to be encouraging.

Third, is faithfulness. Moms are the faithful few who will be there for a child no matter their past, present, or future situation. As a jail chaplain for four years, I saw many men and women who had no one in their life except their mom. When they had done too much, offended too often, and their mom no longer came, visited, wrote, or supported them, that is when I saw grown men cry and women collapse. The final string of hope and belief that tomorrow could be better had been cut.

Mary is faithful to Jesus to the end. In John 19:25 we read that while Jesus hung on the cross his mother stood faithfully at his feet. While we see through the eyes of history that he hung there as sacrifice and we understand in part the bigger picture of his willingness to suffer as he did; it is through the eyes of a mother looking on her child that Mary stands beneath the death of her infant son. A son who was announced with angels, visited by foreign kings, adored by thousands, and who had worried her, obeyed her, loved her, and learned from her as an infant, child, and man. That was her baby there on that awful torture device.

Perhaps the most amazing and rewarding thing a mother can experience is when a child reflects back to her the very qualities of concern, encouragement, and faithfulness that she lovingly poured into her son or daughter. In John 19:26, we read where Jesus looked to his mother and to his best friend, John, and instructed his mom to go with John and for John to take care of his mother. In this scene we see the concern Jesus has for Mary. He encourages her with the knowledge that there will be someone to care for her after he is gone. And he is faithful to the end and beyond with the love that he has for her.

Not all moms are perfect. Okay, none of them are. How wonderful it would be though if we had more who were full of concern, encouragement, and faithfulness to her children. It is certainly a noble idea to hope and pray for as we develop a Forever Family.